Welcome to Loserville! Population: 6.6 billion. Home of the chumps.
I’m surfing the interweb, just doing the daily routine when I notice a small text ad for an online quiz. Now, I love taking these stupid quizzes. I know they’re fixed to make you think you’re a genius and give them money, but every so often you can find a rare gem that will tell you something different. Today I found The Loser Quiz. I already know I’m a loser, I just wanted to see how big of a loser I am. I mean, the town of Loserville, like any other city, works on a hierarchy. Wouldn’t it be great to beat the top of that hierarchy as the Mayor of Loserville? You’d be able to say you run a town full of losers that will do anything you tell them to. Anyway, back to my story. The quiz takes me maybe 5 minutes to fill out. Unfortunately, I realize that my answers aren’t quite as loserific as they could be. But hey, I’m not one to lie on a quiz [though, lying on a loser quiz must SURELY make you a bigger loser]. So I finish up my quiz and bring down my hopes to “Pathetic Loser” and click Submit. Then these jerks want me to sign up for some offers with their sponsors. Sorry guys, but I don’t think signing up for some scammy credit card deals are going to boost up my loser score. NO THANKS!
Seriously now, I’m not THAT insecure. But it really makes me wonder with all these online pyramid schemes and the like going around, how many people in the world get suckered in. Are you really going to pay to have a machine tell you either a) You’re an Uber Loser, you need to buy more iPods, or b) You’re an anti-Loser, give us money to help stop the spreading of loseritis?
Yeah, as usual, I don’t know where I’m going with this. What I do know though, is that the world is messed up.